Children – Why Shouldn’t We Shout At Them?

Do you sometimes find yourself yelling at your children ? Sometimes it happens that because of our work and duties, we lose our temper and we discharge frustration on the youngest.

However, it must be openly admitted that children do not have the slightest fault in what happens to us every day.

Discharging yourself with screaming at them can cause them to lower their self-esteem or – on the contrary – to an adamant and stubborn defensive attitude. In the future, this may cause them to copy their parents’ behavior and not be able to listen, because they will simply “cut off” what is said to them.

So how do you stop shouting at them?

Stop yelling at your kids – discover what upsets you

To stop yelling at your children, you first need to make it clear to yourself that you have a problem with self-control. If you don’t start with this simple (but how difficult at the same time) step, you won’t be able to solve anything at all.

So, cold first, analyze all the occasions where you have lost control and happened to yell at your children.

This will help you see the pattern that governs your behavior. You may find that you usually yell at your kids after a hard day at work or after an argument with your partner.

Becoming aware of these types of mechanisms will not only help us to better control ourselves, but also resolve a situation that in and of itself upsets us so much. Not only your children will benefit from it, but also you.

But remember not to judge yourself too harshly and not blame yourself for all the bad behavior that has happened to you. It’s perfectly normal and human to find it hard to regain control after a hard day at work or a misunderstanding with your partner.

Instead of torturing yourself about it, just think it’s time to change something and act better. We help you.

Be careful with your expectations

Exorbitant expectations never lead to anything good. Especially if they concern other people and make us require them to behave in a particular way that will please us.

This is very often the case with us and our children. First of all, we completely wrongly assume that they know much more than they actually do. And it is not so at all.

For example, if our child happens to drop a glass on the ground because they did not know what would happen then and decided to try it, we may experience an outburst of anger. Meanwhile, the child really had no idea what the effects of dropping the glass vessel would be, because he was only gaining experience in life.

The youngest do not know much about the norms of behavior that guide this world. Many times it happens that they learn completely about them from the shouting and anger of their parents.

This is why it is worth thinking before acting – it is necessary to take time to think about it before making a pitchfork out of the needle. Instead of negative emotions, we should be ruled by peace, gentleness and stability. It is not just about relationships with children, but about our whole life and all its aspects.

Take a deep breath and think before you speak

As mentioned before, in order to stop yelling at children, learn to hold back your impulses and not act suddenly without thinking. Even if an unexpected situation arose that completely upset us, and it can be called a crisis.

It’s best to give yourself time. For example, you can leave the room where the child is. If necessary, go outside or on the balcony and breathe deeply. Try to calm down and regain inner peace and self-control. Thanks to this, you will look at the situation from a distance and from a different perspective.

When our emotions take over us, it is very difficult to think logically and control ourselves. All we do is feel it, and then we explode and lose control of what we say or do.

If you give yourself enough time, you will discover a whole host of issues and “puzzle” pieces that you had no idea about. It will also be easier for you to detect and understand certain subconscious behaviors that govern you and the people around you.

For example, you may find that you had high expectations of your baby. Or maybe it just didn’t know it was going to do something, or it didn’t quite understand your instructions. There is also the possibility that your anger was not caused by the child’s behavior at all, but by something that happened before.

Yelling at children leaves them a very bad example for us adults. However, if we make a decision and try to do it, we can easily eliminate this problem.

All we need is willpower and willingness to change our negative attitude. An additional motivation is the awareness of how it negatively affects the youngest and what harm it can do to them.

Remember that they are not to blame for the problems that affect you in your daily life.