Partner Does Not Want To Work – How To Motivate Him?

Every couple has problems in their lives. One of them is – undoubtedly – the situation when the partner does not want to work. Usually it is a reflection of frustration with work or the fruit of bad social influence.

Although the problem does not seem serious at first glance, in reality, the situation in which the partner does not want to work will sooner or later lead to a serious conflict between people living under the same roof.

Let us note at once that this problem is very difficult to solve. However, there are ways to get out of it before more serious consequences emerge.

The attitude of individual people towards work and effort is revealed above all in difficult and unhappy situations. Although none of us like to spend eight hours on – very often boring and absolutely not creative – work, we should always look for the positive aspects of the circumstances at a given moment.

Otherwise, our emotional state becomes unstable, which over time can result in really serious health disorders. Moreover, deep frustration and even depression can develop. Therefore, it is worth reacting as soon as possible – as soon as the first signals of a problem appear.

How to behave when a partner does not want to work?

1. Be patient

Let’s face it – living with a partner who spends his days fruitlessly at home (and without the slightest desire to look for a job) can upset anyone, even the most loved one. However, if you want to avoid constant arguments, you need to remain calm and be patient.

This attitude to work is most likely not a deliberate choice of your partner, but a symptom of his low self-esteem. So instead of throwing insults in his face, such as a lazy or a parasite, try to understand his problem and help him regain his motivation to act.

Regaining positive energy and internal balance is a process that takes time. However, this does not mean that you should nod and agree with your partner at all times. Be alert to his behavior.

Bad temper and nervousness are perfectly understandable in such a situation. Remember that your partner probably doesn’t feel comfortable without being busy. Dissatisfaction with work, combined with the knowledge that it does not contribute to family life, can really adversely affect the emotions of everyone in the household.

2. Discover the real reason behind his reluctance to work

The basis for understanding the problem and remedying it in the bud is to determine the cause of the partner’s reluctance to work. There may be many sources of job dissatisfaction and ever increasing frustration.

• One of the most common reasons for a partner’s stay at home is the problem with finding a job due to advanced age or lack of appropriate qualifications. Failure to meet certain conditions causes frustration and depression.
• Then the man gradually loses his self-esteem as he realizes that he is unable to support his family.
• In other cases, the partner simply cannot get what he wants, and therefore has no intention of doing anything else.

• It may also happen that this situation is comfortable for him. So he has no intention of re-entering the labor market and doing something productive and useful.

As you can see, there can be many reasons for the lack of interest in work. Hence, it is so important to establish a specific motive for the partner’s actions in order to help him get out of this difficult situation.

3. The division of household duties

If your partner doesn’t want to work, that doesn’t mean they should spend their days doing nothing. Still living at home? So increase his share of the household chores, especially if your shoulders are now taking care of your family. However, such a proposal should be treated as a temporary situation and based on mutual cooperation.

Try to occupy your partner with various tasks, and also spend time together to “lighten” his mind a bit. Doing chores, driving his children to school, or other activities will likely help him appreciate time from a completely different point of view.

Also, take advantage of the situation so that your partner will end all outstanding home and garden repairs for which he simply did not have time. Perhaps they will stimulate him to search for a job more effectively. On the other hand, he will have constant contact with other people who can also motivate him to act.

4. Appreciate your partner’s strengths and skills

The best way to motivate your partner to work is to build up their self-esteem through praise and affection. You can offer your help with writing a CV or browsing job portals. However, try to do it discreetly, without pressing too much.

This is a good opportunity to prove that nothing is actually impossible, although achieving them may not be easy. Encourage your partner to try new activities, to set goals, to learn new skills and improve those they already have. Sometimes it is difficult to get exactly what we want. However, you have to start somewhere.

5. Talk about the impact of this situation on your family life

When the situation takes a long time and your partner refuses to work, no matter what help you offer him, you should have a serious discussion about the consequences of his behavior and how it will affect the family life.

Remember that all proposals have a positive tone – treat them only as a temporary solution. It will be easier for a partner who is aware of the consequences of his behavior to motivate himself to act and re-engage in work.

What to do when a partner does not want to work for anything in the world?

Although it is hard to believe, there are some people who have absolutely no interest in working. Contrary to appearances, this also applies to men. Such a partner feels comfortable living as a kept. He is not bothered by the fact that he is financially dependent on his partner or that the maintenance of the family rests solely on her shoulders.

Such cases very often concern men who feel great as a child. Regardless of the years, they are convinced that they do not have any obligations and do not have to make any commitments to others.

If the problem has its source in the psyche of Peter Pan, unfortunately, it will not be possible without the help of a specialist. If the therapy does not bring the expected results, separation will be the best solution for your partner. Expecting your partner to change someday is a life of illusions.

Remember that life in a relationship is responsibility for the other person, willingness to grow up together and self-development in order to constantly improve the relationship. Think about why you need a life companion who will never make any effort to achieve goals that are set together.